February 22, 2015
First Sunday of Lent
The Best Penance Ever
Dear Parishioners,
Many Catholics use Lent as a time to take advantage of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, particularly if they haven’t gone in a while. For me, the introspection of the season makes it a natural time to look at what areas of my relationships with God and other people are in need of some work and some healing. Going to Confession has always been a helpful way to enter into the season’s call to a joyful renewing of my heart.
One of the best experiences of the Sacrament I’ve ever had was during one particular Lent back when I was in university. I remember it being an awesome spring day in Boston as I made my way over to the Paulist Chapel on Beacon Hill. I sat in one of the pews praying for a moment or two before making my way to the confessional where the priest and I prayed together, and then I dove in. It bears mentioning that my sins were nothing particularly extraordinary, but, even so, the priest listened. He listened to me talk about various challenges in my relationships, my struggles to be kind, loving, and forgiving to friends, family and strangers. And when I finished, we talked briefly and he gave me a penance.
Now, if confession ‘weirds’ people out (and, oh, it can…and, yes, I just verbed the word weird), the penance part of it is what usually pushes it over the top. If the penance is perfunctory, it can seem pointless; if not, it can seem like a punishment or some kind of bribe we need to pay in order to earn God’s love back. I have to say, though, doing a penance after confession has always made a lot of sense to me. If I fought with one of my friends, we would probably apologize to each other, but we’ll also make a point to spend some time together. It doesn’t make the hurt feelings disappear, but it does start the process of getting back into the habits of good relationships – the habits that make us close as friends.
On this particular day, the penance showed that the priest had indeed listened very well. Not only had he heard the particular sins I articulated, but he also heard things that I hadn’t put into words: namely, the perfectionism that preoccupied me in my life and in my prayer. And so, his penance was very simple: For the rest of Lent, take five minutes every day – just five minutes – and enjoy God.
So I tried. At first, it was bizarre to sit down with God with no task in mind but enjoyment. I wasn’t quite sure what to do when I wasn’t asking God for answers to Big Questions, or when I wasn’t talking to God about my many character flaws, or asking for HUGE favors. But, little by little and bit by bit, I started to treasure those quiet moments of prayer. I’d sit in the resplendent springtime weather and marvel at nature, or at the city noises that drifted faintly onto campus. I’d bask in the laughter of friends playing Wiffle Ball on the quad. I’d sit relishing the idea of God.
And somewhere in the midst of those five minutes I found something important: just as I was sitting down to enjoy God, it dawned on me that God was sitting down to enjoy me. And that realization changed my life.
Fr. Leonard+