At a recent Catholicism 101, a small group that meets every second Sunday and discusses different topics (you’re invited!), we were talking about families and learned that the Church places the family as the central example of service to one another and to God. We also learned through our dialogue that families are a lot more complicated than portrayed on the cover of Christmas cards. Families are indeed complex not just in relationships. but in contexts. There is our spiritual family, our cultural families and our geo-political family.
After praying about and to the Holy Family, I see that maybe things aren’t as simple as I thought. In our modern time, I often hear a lot about the “war on the family,” the thought being that the traditional family is being attacked. Modern times (like all times) are confusing and complicated, but I’m curious as to which family isn’t complicated. Let’s return to that Christmas card cover. The Holy Family wasn’t simple at all. It includes a mensch (Yiddish slang for a person of integrity and honor), a virgin and a God. St. Joseph was the only sinner in the house tasked with raising the Son of God and Mary risked possible death by stoning by accepting her role as Mother of God. That’s pretty complicated stuff. Not to mention that they were refugees, fleeing violent oppression, living in Egypt, desperately poor and depending on the kindness and gifts of strangers.
The story of Mary and Joseph isn’t exactly the old “boy meets girl” trope, but perhaps it is the complexity itself that allows enough room for something as powerful and pure as love. So, I suppose the true meaning of a family is what Paul is telling us, those families that “put on heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.”
That’s what counts, that’s what makes a family, not how many dads, children (adopted or step), or uncles or cousins you have, or how many times you were married or moved. What makes a true family is modeling for others God’s love and service to one another. Let us look upon the Holy Family this Christmas season to be our example and guide that life is complicated, but love doesn’t have to be. Merry Christmas.