Like so many in our OLMC community and beyond I was so struck by the outpouring of love for our brother RJ and his family this past week. Overcome by emotion, I, like so many of us, had a week where moments of pain and loss stirred with feelings of deep anguish and anger at the mystery of God. “Why RJ, Lord? Why a child?” I asked through tears. “Why stricken this community with pain again?”
Then I saw the Sy family holding each other at RJ’s funeral, beautiful in their tears in the shadow of another cross, the cross that hangs in our beloved sanctuary, the cross of Christ. Here was another earthly family, broken, striving for holiness giving their son back to God. It was in that moment that I realized that their sacrifice, like that of our heavenly Father’s of his own son, is a gift, the most lovely and painful ones to give.
The Sy family gave us the most precious and pure of gifts; they gave us their son and brother. His journey, while painful, healed us and so many others that the ripples will be felt for a lifetime. It was their sacrifice of RJ that allowed us, his community, to give to one another in ways I’ve never seen before and I’m excited to see again! It was their sacrifice that gave unbelievable experiences to a family besieged. RJ has given the gift of education to his sisters, the gift of service to teens, countless bags of donated blood for the sick, endless meals for families at Ronald McDonald House — all that will continue through us! RJ has given the gift of peace and humility to many people, even people he never met — I’m thinking specifically about a woman named Jane Guerra.
I’m thinking of a day with my own mother who recently lost her brave battle with cancer. It was about nine months ago and she was having a particularly bad day. She was overwhelmed with grief and self-pity that she was dying at the relatively young age of 59. “I’m only 59,” she cried. “It’s not fair.” Then she gathered herself and said, “And RJ is 4. I’m so lucky and grateful.” RJ and the Sy family’s struggle comforted a woman who was dying and showed her the way to gratitude. Thank you, Sy family and RJ, for your example!
So, again we mourn and pick up the broken pieces and see what is salvageable after the fire. We may never know the answer to Why?, but we know what to do now — RJ showed us the way.
Let us recommit ourselves to serving one another, praying for one another, so that when we visit the sick to give them communion, or thank a police officer, or serve at soup kitchens and food pantries, when we celebrate the birth of children and comfort the old, we can honestly say to those who ask Why are you here?, we can proudly say, “RJ sent me.”
RJ, my brother, hug Mom for me and Fr. Len for all of us. Pray for us, so on that bright shining morning when we see each other again, we can tell you how we spent our lives trying to live up to your example.
I’ll be seeing you,
Elliot